For Grandma - For I love you still

by Jenny Bates
(Northamptonshire)

My dear Grandma lost a fight for her life on Christmas Day 2012.

Having seen her just days before, I have never had such mixed emotions about the loss.
She was in her eighties, but suffered with dementia. If you have ever known someone
that suffers, you'll know how wicked the disease is.

Both my Grandmothers suffered at the same time. One, known as Granny, would live in the past.
You could still talk to her, and she'd converse with you. But she was “stuck” in the second World War.

For my Grandma, my Mother's Mum, she went quiet. Something she had never been. Her only words were usually “Yes” at the end. Her eyes the window to her soul. They looked dimmer each time I saw her, as I saw the awful disease consume her.

After my last visit I wrote this poem...


For I Love You Still
I have come to see you sitting there
Your sat upon your favourite chair
You hairs unkempt, you clothes are loose
Your eyes stare vacant, lacking their boost

It's sad to see the woman I knew
Fade away to this someone blue
My children play amidst your gaze
You turn your head, your smile unhazed

I wish I could make it go,
Bring back the woman that I knew just so
Reminisce about the old times we'd shared
Not to see you live this life bared

Grandma dear, I love you still
Despite your being so unwell
I've explained to my daughter of your care
For she was confused to see you there

As we left to say Goodbye
You brightened up, with a smile of "Hi"
You want to spend the time with the kids
For these moments I think you cherish, you miss

I hope that I will see you soon,
Take care my Grandma,
For I love you still
Xxxxxxxx

By Jenny Bates