by Lindsey Joelle Carroll
(Houston, TX, USA)
Forgive me for the mess I am, for the chaos that is me.
Forgive me for the pain I cause and for wanting to be set free.
Forgive me that I'm misunderstood, and can rarely ever explain
the rocky waves inside my heart that are never to be tamed.
Forgive me that I cry one moment, and the next I have a smile.
Forgive me that I'm angry and then I'm sad for awhile.
Forgive me for being strong, and then falling to the floor.
Forgive me for pushing you away, and then wanting you once more.
Forgive me for letting go, and then holding on so tight.
Forgive me that I strictly am as day is to the night.
Forgive me that I'm backwards, and often upside-down.
Forgive me that I know my way, and then quickly turn around.
Forgive me that I just don't know, yet think I know everything at once.
Forgive me that I've been a mystery for all these many months.
Forgive me that I forgive you, yet don't, and hold my tongue.
Forgive me that I feel apart but yet feel that I belong.
Forgive me when I'm at my weakest but will tell you I am strong.
Forgive me for my wrongs and forgive me for my fear.
Forgive me that I want to go, yet always want you near.
Forgive me when I'm gentle, but then my sweet words fall so few.
Forgive me when I run away, and then give myself to you.
Forgive me when I fall short, yet expect you to be ahead.
Forgive me when I'm insecure, yet for sure the next moment instead.
Forgive me for the space I want, yet need you in my arms.
Forgive me for all the loving, and then for all the harm.
Forgive me for never knowing, but expecting you to know
Forgive me when I'm laughing, but yet there's pain that I don't show.
Forgive me for this roller coaster that I know is hard to ride.
Forgive me for all the pain I cause yet love you so much inside.
Forgive me when I say I love you, yet can't find the words to say.
Please forgive me for tomorrow, today, and for yesterday.